In the 1960's, Stanford University began an experiment on the nature of self-control, and how it was related to successful living. Children in a preschool on the University's campus were told that they could have a single treat, such as a marshmallow, right now. However, if they would wait while the experimenter "ran an errand," they could have two marshmallows. Some preschoolers grabbed the marshmallow immediately. But others were able to wait for what must have seemed to them like an endless 20 minutes! To sustain themselves in their struggle, they covered their eyes so they wouldn't see the temptation, rested their heads on their arms, talked to themselves, sang, and even tried to sleep. These steadfast kids got the two-marshmallow reward.

So what would you do? Would you grab the marshmallow? Or wait? We like to be in control of our lives, don't we? Would you agree that having self-control is a pretty important trait for most people? I think most people want to be in control. We want to have the remote control, be in control of our work schedule, our home life, our family, and our relationships. We want to show other people that we are in control. Especially in our day when the words busy and hectic apply to ALL of us, it is important to most of us that we are still in control.

Would you agree with me if I said that sometimes the hardest thing to control is ourselves? How much self-control do we always display in our own life? We want to wait for that marshmallow, so there will be more, but do we? Or do we so often lose self-control? Do we over-eat, over-drink, and abuse too much of a good thing? Do we abuse our bodies with things that make us feel good but aren't good for us? Do we give in to our lustful thoughts and let them lead to actions that are sinful, instead of waiting as God wanted us to? Do we spend that money we know we should leave invested for our future and our children's future? Do we lose our temper and say what we are thinking rather than holding it in out of love for someone else, and forgiving them instead?

Do you think it is true for so many of the times that we "lose control," that we find ways to justify it? Paul Harvey told a story about a lady who was overweight. She blamed it on the traffic on the city street. When she went to bed at night, the traffic outside her window would keep her awake. So, rather than lay there awake, she'd get up and eat. Her reason for being overweight wasn't her overeating or a physical problem she had, but rather the "traffic." Don't we find all sorts of ways to explain why we lose our self-control? "It couldn't be my fault," we say. That is the first step of losing self-control.

Do you think it is true that we also sometimes overestimate our own strength? We put ourselves in situations that are going to make it very difficult for us to stay in control. That is what Peter did. He started off his evening badly by making a huge boast while they were having dinner, that he would NEVER betray Jesus, even if the rest of the disciples did! Who was Peter relying on? Himself! Then he overestimated how much self-control he had by walking right into the pit of temptation. He went to the courtyard where he would certainly have his loyalty be challenged. In other words, if Peter was in that marshmallow experiment, he wouldn't have been covering his eyes. He would have been putting that marshmallow right under his nose!

Peter mixed up self-confidence with the confidence of faith. God gives us reason to be confident in every aspect of life, as long as our trust is in Him. But when our trust is placed in ourselves, we stand alone in our self-confidence, and are ready to have our self-control fall completely apart! Look what happened to Peter. He was pretty pitiful out there. Relying on himself for self-control, he denied Jesus 3 times.

How many of you think you could stay in control of yourself under that kind of pressure? Peter wilted under pressure from ordinary people who didn't share his faith in Jesus. The people gathered at the fire weren't necessarily bad people. They were ordinary citizens just doing their jobs - like the people you and I associate with daily. One problem - none of those people in the courtyard had a Galilean accent that would identify them with Jesus. It is easy to lose control of yourself when you overestimate your self-confidence. The wrong peer pressure can get you into serious trouble. When you try to talk out of both sides of your mouth, with a Galilean accent out of one side and the accents of the world out of the other side, you end up denying your Lord!

Let's contrast our lack of self-control with what we see in Jesus. He was under unimaginable pressure! He had the sins of the world on his shoulders! All of the times we have lost control, all of our sins, He was made responsible for. He was then taken before a courtroom where He was lied about, mocked, spat upon, and hit. He deserved none of it. Did Jesus lose his self-control? No! Jesus never lost his composure! He said nothing back! He willingly endured it. His self-control was one of the defining virtues of his character as our Savior.

Jesus was also in complete control moments later - just after the rooster crowed the second time, reminding Peter of the warning Jesus had given him. The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter. Can you imagine getting that look? It wasn't a scowl that said, "Peter how could you?" It wasn't a wry smile that said, "I told you so!" I think it was a look of pity that sprang from a heart of love for a disciple who had let his self-confidence destroy his self-control. It was a look that brought Peter to his senses. It drove him to his knees to shed tears of repentance. That look saved Peter! It was a look that said, "Peter, you've denied me, but I'll never deny you."

Jesus can say that, because his self-control substitutes for our lack of it. Jesus gave us the self-control we couldn't have by ourselves. And He took all the times that we have lost control and disappointed God, and took those sins to the cross. There, he was killed for our sins. Because of that, God judges us not on the basis of the way we behave when peer pressure leads us astray, but on the basis of how Jesus conducted Himself when He faced the kind of pressure we could never endure.

As long as we try saving ourselves in our own way, and relying on our own self-control and confidence, we get ourselves in trouble. In the Highlands of Scotland, sheep often wander off into the rocks and get into places they can't get out of. The grass is very sweet in those mountains, and the sheep will jump down 10-12 feet to get it. But then they are stuck. Even though the shepherds hear them bleating in distress, they often leave them there for days, until they have eaten all the grass and are so faint they can hardly stand. Only then they will pull them up with a rope. Why doesn't the shepherd rescue them right away? The answer is that the sheep are so foolish they would dash right over the edge when the rope came down, and end up being killed. And the same is true with us. We often don't go back to God until we have no friends and have lost everything. Jesus brings us back the moment we have given up trying to save ourselves and are willing to let Him save us in his own way. His "look" saves you and me!

We want to display self-control in our lives to show we belong to the Master of self-control. And we can if we recall that look on Jesus' face again and again. It isn't a look that says, "Depart from me." It says: "Come to me. Come boldly to the throne of grace. You're forgiven!" It's a look that enables each of us to say, "When I am weak, then I am strong" because I have a Savior who says, "My grace is sufficient for you." Jesus gives you the strength to exercise real self-control. That strength gives us the courage to dare to be different and stand up for Christ in any situation He calls us to do so. To follow Jesus means to keep on doing that until, finally, we get to see the look of forgiving love on Jesus' face in person forever! Amen.

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