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"HOW TO SURVIVE CONFLICT"
Acts 5:27-33 April 22, 2001 When the first "Survivor" series aired last summer on TV, it made a contest out of living on an island in the South China Sea, for 39 days, under 100 degree temperatures, with total strangers, while deprived of many of the amenities we take for granted. Not the least of which was food. The potential for problems was very great. Conflict was inevitable. Personalities would clash. People would step on each other's toes and feelings. It would illustrate our "dog eat dog" world, sometimes in a nasty way. The nation watched as, week after week, people were voted off the island by their peers until, at last, only Richard Hatch remained. The current show is the same - it is full of conflict. Getting along with each other is not part of winning this game. We have yet to see who is going to come out on top in the current show Down Under, but we will have to wait and see if they are anything like Richard. Unlike Richard, who did not get along with everyone, God loves us and wants you and me to succeed in getting along with each other. He doesn't want us to be voted out of our families, shunned by our friends, divorced from our spouses, or strayed from our churches. Most of all, He doesn't want us to be separated from Him! Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. Conflict, at one time or another, confronts all of us. It may, in fact, be something you are dealing with today. Is there someone you dread having to talk to at work or school? In your community? In your neighbourhood? In your church? When you are forced to live or work with that person, do your enthusiasm and energy quickly drain away? Do you sometimes think about leaving your job, your church, or even your family to avoid any more interactions with him or her? If your answers are 'yes,' then you are a sinner just like me, and just like the person you are having a problem with. The fact that we are all sinners creates conflict. Our stubborn sinful nature won't let us get along with anyone else! In fact, our sin puts us at conflict with God! The first step in dealing with conflict is admitting that it is always partly our fault. But you aren't the only one who struggles with conflict. John Maxwell, a church analyst, estimates that the average parish pastor spends 20% of his time - one full day out of five - doing nothing but dealing with conflicted people. Judith Greber has recently written a book, to offer help to couples caught in conflict, which has a most interesting title: "Why Marriage Is Harder Than Murder." Years ago, a large statue of Christ was erected high in the Andes Mountains on the border between Argentina and Chile. Called "Christ of the Andes," the statue symbolizes a pledge between the two countries that as long as the statue stands, there will be peace between Chile and Argentina. Shortly after the statue was erected, however, the Chileans began to protest that they had been slighted - the statue had its back turned to Chile! Just when tempers were at their highest in Chile, a Chilean newspaperman saved the day. In an editorial that not only satisfied the people, but made them laugh, he simply said, "The people of Argentina obviously need more watching over than do the people of Chile." Yes, congregations, couples, and countries get caught up in conflict. Even our Lord did - in his conflict with the devil. And so did his disciples, when they began sharing the news of Jesus' resurrection with the people of Jerusalem. As our text tells us today, their zeal to tell the world about the risen Lord and their celebration of Jesus' resurrection turned to confrontation simply because they dared tell these people the truth that Jesus had defeated death for us. It also created conflict because the apostles pointed out that these people refused to embrace Jesus as the living Son of God. They killed Him. This obviously made them furious, because it stuck a chord of guilt. They wanted to put the disciples to death. If something as simple as telling the truth can cause conflict, what can we do? We must keep telling the truth, especially about Jesus. But if that causes conflict, how can we deal with conflict so that sinful anger does not destroy us and our relationships? We always have to start by going back to the root of where conflict came from. It came from the fact that our sin puts us at conflict with God. Ever since Adam and Eve failed, we have all been at conflict with God. That conflict is called sin. And if we had to deal with that conflict between us and God on our own, I don't think any of us would like to know how it would turn out. But the good news for us is that Jesus put Himself in conflict with his heavenly Father, the Almighty God, in our place! So we wouldn't have to! And now, there is NO conflict between us and God! So what can we do? How can we deal with conflict? Walk back to that empty tomb we heard about last week. It means that our conflict with God has been resolved! Our sins are forgiven! No one is still paying for them, because Jesus is risen! It means peace, joy, and hope in our new life with God! It means an eternal alliance that will never turn its back on you! It means an end to conflict! But conflict still happens in our lives, doesn't it? It will, as long as we live in this sinful world. We still have our sinful natures which lose battles to temptation. The difference for us, now, is that the Empty Tomb gives us a reason to be different! To live lives of thanks and joy! So how can we show that the empty tomb has changed our lives? FIRST, think before you speak. There was once a husband who didn't do that when he became angry at his wife. He blurted out, "How can someone so beautiful be so stupid?" She answered without a moment's hesitation, "God made me beautiful so you would marry me; He made me stupid so I would marry you!" Touche! Good comeback. But, loving words that aim at avoiding conflict? Wouldn't it be better to think before speaking? Wouldn't it be better to listen to these inspired words from the book of James: "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires." SECOND, after you've organized your thoughts, speak privately, personally with the other person. Talk to him or her, not about him or her to others. Jesus directed his disciples, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." THIRD, don't delay! Have the conversation today! Be proactive in this! Don't be reactive. Don't let the world happen to you. Don't let others dictate your mood or level of inner joy. Be forgiving, and show love to them by talking to them! The longer we wait to speak to the other person, the more difficult it becomes. Have you ever seen, for instance, the morale in an office or classroom deteriorate because of one person who makes everybody else miserable? His poisonous attitude spreads throughout the entire office or classroom because no one takes time to talk to him about it. The best, and most loving thing to do, is to talk right away. Avoid conflict! FOURTH, without delay, be sure to pray! God has promised that through our prayers, offered in faith, all things are possible. He may not change the other person in the way we want, but He may change us in a way that helps us endure a difficult situation. Prayer is powerful. And don't just talk to God. Listen to Him! He talks to you in his Word. Combine your prayer with Bible study. That will give you direction and motivation as you grow in your understanding of how much you need a Savior, and how amazing the grace is that your Savior has shown you! And when you share that message with others, God will work in their hearts. With Him, miracles are possible! Two little brothers had finished supper and were playing. One hit the other and soon hot tears and hard words followed. They were still being exchanged when Mom put them to bed and led them in saying their prayers. After "Amen," Mom added, "Now, before you fall asleep, I want you to forgive each other. The one brother thought a few moments and then answered, "OK, I'll forgive him tonight, but if I don't die before I wake…he'd better look out tomorrow!" Yes, we better look out too, because sin never stops getting the better of us and tormenting us, and conflict never stops engulfing us. The only true peace we can have comes from the cross of Christ. By his death on the cross, Jesus paid the price for sin, including our sins of conflict and strained relationships. You and I are forgiven! Through faith in Him and his resurrection, the assurance of that forgiveness is ours, and we are also enabled to forgive each other, just as He has forgiven us when we think, talk, and act contrary to His Word and will. So, can we survive conflict? Absolutely! If we hold fast to Christ and his cross! If the empty tomb is part of our lives that daily assures us of peace with God! Then, you have an alliance that will last forever! Then, you can be certain that you will never be voted out of God's family! Amen. |
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