|
HOW TO SURVIVE PARENTING
Isaiah 40:11
May 13, 2001
Well, it's over. Tina won. She was the "survivor." She had to contend with all the dangers that abound in the Australian Outback: deadly snakes, poisonous plants, stinging spiders, untamed animals, and a wild wilderness. But, I bet if we asked Tina on this Mother's Day, that she would tell us all of that was nothing compared with the struggle to survive parenting! The thing is, it is over for all of those contestants. They are back to normal life. But once a parent, always a parent!
Someone once wrote, "Insanity is hereditary. You can get it from your children." There is the story about an "expert" who had no children of his own and used to conduct a seminar he titled, "Rules for Raising Children." Then, when he had children of his own and began to engage in the challenges of parenthood, he changed the title of his seminar to "Suggestions for Raising Children." When his children became teenagers and began to talk back and ignore his "expert" advice, he stopped doing the seminars altogether! Or, there is this conversation that was overheard between two little guys: The first said to the second, "I'm really worried. Dad slaves away at his job so that I have everything I need, so I'll be able to go to college some day. Mom works hard washing and ironing, cleaning up after me, taking care of me when I am sick, driving me everywhere I want to go. They spend every day of their lives working for me. I'm worried." His friend asked, "What do you have to worry about?" The first guy answered, "I'm afraid they're going to try to escape some day!" Every parent who has ever thought about escaping from all of the work and responsibility of parenthood, say "Amen!"
- If you want to survive parenthood - and that is God's will for all of us whom He has blessed with children - remember that your child is worth the struggle. He or she is a gift from God! Even if he or she sometimes acts like the devil!
There is a woman in the Bible who showed she understood this. Her name was Hannah. She and her husband yearned for a child with all of their heart. Hannah prayed constantly about it to the Lord. In his grace, God heard their prayers and allowed Hannah to conceive and give birth to Samuel. The Bible tells the story, "After Samuel was weaned, Hannah took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull, an ephah of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh. When they had slaughtered the bull, they brought the boy to Eli, the priest, and Hannah said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And they worshipped the LORD there."
If you are going to survive parenting and its innumerable challenges, remember that your child is a gift from God! Deal with your child as God, your Heavenly Father, deals with you: that is, with patience, loving discipline, grace, encouragement, instruction, and unconditional love, which God give us through the crucified and risen Lord Jesus.
- Second, if you want to survive parenting, this is really important: Remember that you and your child have a lot in common! You have heard the expressions, "The nut doesn't fall far from the tree," and "a chip off the ol' block." As your child grows, you will see a mirror-image of yourself forming. Sometimes amazing! Sometimes scary! Physical attributes, characteristics, personality…
But there is one area that your baby will remind you more of yourself than you will ever want to admit. Dawn and I discovered this with our ten-month old son Jonah. Even though we offer him the toys that are safest for him, and the food that is best for him, he seems most intrigued by the things that aren't safe for him, and the food that might be harmful for someone with no teeth! And when we have to take things away from him, he usually does not understand why, or that it is best for him. And comically, he keeps going after the things that are not good for him! He has no idea that those things are harmful for him!
Aren't we exactly like that?! By nature, we don't want what is best for our souls. We rebel against God. We don't like his answers. We don't live as He would have us live. We think we know what's best for us, but we're often dead wrong. (Just like Jonah!) But as a loving parent, as a loving shepherd, God keeps coming after us and giving us what is best for us. He forgives us and loves us even after all the times we have "driven Him crazy." So, next time your child is driving you crazy, remember that is exactly the way you act with God - even worse! But, He loves you and has forgiven you. In fact, parents, imagine this - He gave up his own Son for you so that your sins would not harm you eternally and separate you from Him! That is how much He loves you! Unconditionally!
- Third, if you are going to survive parenthood, Make the most of your time with your child! You won't have him or her with you forever. That's a comforting thought when things are going badly - the clashes of opinion won't last forever. It's also a sobering thought when we realize how little time we have to influence our children with how much God loves them. There is a little verse with a big message that bears repeating: "Take a moment to listen today To what your children are trying to say; Listen to their problems, listen for their needs, Praise their smallest triumphs, praise their smallest deeds. Tolerate their chatter, amplify their laughter, Find out what's the matter, find out what they're after. Take a moment to listen today To what your children are trying to say; Listen today, whatever you do And they will come back to listen to you."
Our most important job as parents is not just making sure your children are set for life, but for eternal life! They need to know their Savior! They need to be lovingly corrected with God's law, and then shown God's love in the unconditional forgiveness Jesus won for them on the cross. Don't excuse their sins, address them! But don't forget to share Jesus' forgiveness!
As you prioritize your time for work, for recreation, for yourself, for church, for community, and for your children, let Jesus' example guide you. One day when his disciples were preoccupied with business and busyness, they began to turn back parents who were bringing their children to Jesus to be touched and blessed by Him. There wasn't time for them or for that. But we hear, "When Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these… and He took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
- If you are going to survive parenthood, remember that your son or daughter is a gift from God; that you have a lot in common with them, especially their faults; remember to take time for them; and finally, Let them love you! They want to; they really do!
Listen to what some children wrote to their mothers for Mother's Day. Angie, 8 years old, wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm going to make dinner for you on Mother's Day. It's going to be a surprise. P.S. I hope you like pizza & popcorn." Robert wrote: "I got you a turtle for Mother's Day. I hope you like the turtle better than the snake I got you last year." Eileen wrote: "Dear Mother, I wish Mother's Day wasn't always on Sunday. It would be better if it were on Monday so we wouldn't have to go to school." Little Diane wrote: "I hope you like the flowers I got you for Mother's Day. I picked them myself when Mr. Smith wasn't looking." And how about this one from Carol? "Dear Mother, Here are two aspirins. Have a happy Mother's Day!"
Even if their words don't always come out correctly, you - every parent, grandparent, teacher, and coach - is appreciated by our children for the time and attention you give them.
If children are a gift from God, so are good parents. And that's exactly what our Heavenly Father wants us to be. Yes, there are struggles to survive the "terrible twos" and the "teen years." We sometimes fail, get frustrated, lose our tempers, and do the wrong thing. But parents, God has forgiven you for that. He gave his own Son up so that He wouldn't have to give you up! As a parent, He can identify with you! He has a special love for you just like He does for children! Listen to our Bible verse: "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." That grace God has given us to forgive us when we fail also enables us to do better. If our Heavenly Father carries us in his heart, and we carry our children near our hearts, how can we not survive parenting? Amen.
Back to the Easter page
Back to the Pastor's
Messages page
|
Event
Calendar
|