Pentecost 12

Series - If You Can’t Stand the Heat - 2

You love your family, don’t you? Of course you love your spouse and children. Then there’s your siblings and parents. And I’m sure you love them, in spite of all their quirks. But in the middle of this bond of love can sometimes come friction. And with friction comes heat. And with heat comes hardship. We’ve all been there at times, haven’t we? In the heat of battle with members of our own family? How about you? Can’t Stand the Heat of Family Pressures?

There are so many things we could talk about on the subject of beating the heat of family pressure. Family squabbles, infighting, marital stress, parenting conflicts, inheritance battles, sibling rivalry... But since we can’t cover them all, I’m going to focus on another pressure.

In 1947, Dr. Carl Zimmerman, a Harvard professor, wrote a book called, “Family and Civilization.” The book was a result of research he had done on 3000 years of family life. He made a powerful case for traditional family structure. The conclusion of his book could be summed up like this: As go the children, so goes the culture. As goes the family, so goes society!

Zimmerman gave 7 indicators that a culture is in decline. Throughout history, cultures that have gone into decline are characterized by: 1) An increase in the rate of divorce. 2) Lack of commitment to the permanence of marriage. 3) Redefining the meaning of family as a solution to social problems. 4) Lack of respect for parental authority. 5) Promotion of cohabitation over marriage. 6) Lack of inhibition concerning adultery. 7) Acceptance of all forms of sexuality.

Dr. Zimmerman wrote, “As we watch the destruction of the family, so we simultaneously watch the collapse of society.” Zimmerman was a secular historian – not a Christian. And remember, he did this research in 1947! We’ve known for some time that strong families are essential to the survival of any society in any age!

So, friends, the pressure is on! The heat is on! Your society, and much more than that, depends the health of your family! Whether you are single, married, or married with children, your family is the most important building block of society. How healthy it is will affect the people in your family and the people around it. The responsibility to build families that will endure life, build a good society, and most importantly, enter heaven together, is a huge responsibility! Are you ready for that responsibility? Or does that pressure overwhelm you?

Let’s talk about how to beat the heat of that kind of family pressure. And I will admit from the start, that I’m not going to give you a bunch of methods and plans and practical “how-to’s.” That would require volumes of books and years of seminars. I am just going to direct you toward the one simple piece of advice that our Psalm gives us.

I am going to insist that you all start using drugs. That is the solution for family pressure! A man once admitted that he had a drug problem when he was a teenager. He wrote: “I was “drug” to church on Sunday morning. I was “drug” to church on Sunday night. I was “drug” to church on Wednesday night. I was “drug” to Sunday School every week. I was “drug” to Vacation Bible School. I was “drug” to the family altar to read the Bible and pray. I was also “drug” to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, or spoke ill of the teacher or preacher. Those “drugs” are still in my veins, and they affect my behaviour in everything I do, say, and think.”

People, it’s time to start using “drugs”! There is a lie going around. The lie that dragging our kids to church will turn them off to church. There are people who won’t “force” their kids to go to church with them because they fear that result…and so the kids never, or rarely go. And most of the time they end up without a spiritual foundation for their lives.

The same parents will force their kids to go to school. They’ll force their kids to go to the doctor. They’ll force their kids to go to the dentist. But they won’t force their kids to go to church because of the mistaken impression that this will somehow be better for their child. Now let’s be honest… that’s just plain spiritual laziness. And it isn’t God’s plan for us. Psalm 78:1-7.

Wanna know the one way to beat the heat of family pressure? The one way to build strong, healthy families? God must be in the home. Jesus and his forgiveness must be at the heart and core of our family life. There is no other way. All other human methods are going to fail. Nothing will be able to replace the Word of God as the central blueprint for your home.

The psalmist pleads with us to see the importance of passing God’s Word down to our children. He rejoiced that his parents shared it with him, and promised to pass it on to his children. He wants his children to know about the Lord’s amazing deeds, incredible works of love, and good commands. Friends, whether you have children or not, your responsibility is to make sure that your home is one where these Words resonate!

Beginning, most importantly, with your “home altar.” Having home devotions together, reading scripture together, praying together, and using teachable moments to make God’s Word practical in our lives are the most important things you can do for your family. Then, “dragging” them to church and other gatherings where you can share and grow your faith together with other Christians is the next most important responsibility you have for your family!

The goal, the psalmist tells us, is so that we will all know the two-part message of the Bible: 1. God’s Commands. His laws. How He expects us to live. He wants perfection from us in thought, word, and deed. But since we’ve failed, our families need to know the second message: 2. God’s Deeds. God loved us from eternity. He created us to be his children. He orchestrated a whole plan of salvation to carry that out. He sent his Son to live and die for us. And then He gloriously rose from the dead to reveal the amazing news to us that we are forgiven and heirs of eternal life with Him! And so now, we go back to that first part of the message, and in thanks to God, begin to live our lives differently, thanking Him for what He’s done.

Friends, no matter what kind of pressure there is in your family, I do not believe that it can possibly survive or be healthy without the good news of God’s forgiveness through Jesus. You are going to have friction and heat in your family. Christ’s love is the only thing that can cool that down and provide healing. And faith in that wonderful truth is the only true thing that can motivate you and your family to live according to the laws of God that will be a huge blessing to any society! Do you see the importance of making God part of your family?

A medieval superintendent asked three stone masons on a construction project what they were doing. The first replied, “laying bricks.” The second said, “building a wall.” But the third laborer demonstrated genuine esteem for his work when he said, "I am raising a great cathedral." You could also ask two parents what their role in the family is. The first may say, “I’ make the money.” The second may say, "I am supporting a family." But the third may say, "I am raising children." The first two see their job as putting bread on the table. But the latter sees things in God’s perspective: he is participating in the shaping of lives!

The actions you carry out in your family life by getting the people of your family into the Word at home and in church aren’t just items to check off your list or a resolution to feel good about. They are part of a most important process: building and shaping lives that will last for an eternity with God. I am sure you want to spend eternity knowing your earthly family is there with you too! Every devotion, every prayer, every godly deed is a part of a great project!

A fitting poem tells us: “An old man traveling a lone highway, Came at the evening cold and gray To a chasm vast and deep and wide. The traveler paused at the chasm’s side Then quickly crossed in the twilight dim The sullen stream caused no fear for him. But he paused when safe on the other side to build a bridge to stem the tide. "Old man," said a fellow pilgrim near, "You are wasting your strength by building here, Your journey will end with the closing day, You never again will pass this way. You’ve crossed the chasm deep and wide, Why build you this bridge at ev’ntide?" The builder lifted his old gray head, "Good friend, in the path I’ve come," he said, There follows after me today A youth whose feet must pass this way. This chasm that’s been as naught to me To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be; He too, must cross in the twilight dim. Good friend, I’m building this bridge for him."

Never underestimate the value of setting a Godly standard in your home and sharing the forgiveness Jesus won for us! Nothing could be more beneficial for the generations that follow you. And no other single thing can take the heat and pressure out of your family life like Jesus’ forgiveness. Let your family see Jesus in you!

There was a humble, dedicated pastor whose young son had become very ill. After the boy had undergone an exhaustive series of tests, the father was told the shocking news that his son had a terminal illness. The youngster believed in Jesus as his Savior, so the minister knew that death would carry him into heaven; but he wondered how to inform one so young that he soon would die. After seeking the Holy Spirit’s direction, he went with a heavy heart through the hospital to the boy’s bedside. First he read a Bible passage and had a time of prayer with his dear child. Then he gently told him that the doctors could promise him only a few more days to live. "Are you afraid to meet Jesus, my boy?" asked his devout father. Blinking away a few tears, the little fellow said bravely, "No, not if He’s like you, Dad!"

That says it all, doesn’t it? May our children say the same someday. With God’s help they will. Amen.

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